Monday, August 24, 2009

Evil within, more evil without

Mornings like tomorrow's, I need to start with coffee. The really strong stuff. The kind that gives me the shakes after a single cup, to rattle yesterday's London out of my head and prep me for a grand new adventure – even if it's not really grand. Or an adventure. Even if it's a group interview for a demoralising temporary job I swore I'd never ever do. Especially if it's that. And it is.

But coffee's not yet considered a necessary over-the-counter medication in England, and since I've been staying with various friends throughout the city for the past few months, I far too often find myself desperately, maniacally, selfishly and judgementally rummaging through their cupboards in search of a good old fashioned morning fix.

Usually, I find only tea. Lots of tea. All the tea in England, and not a drop of coffee to spare.

On rare occasions when I do find some, there are one of three outcomes:

a) It's Nopecafé, the freeze-dried imposter
b) There's coffee but, strangely, no actual maker
c) I binge guzzle it all away

That, I remind myself, is precisely why I'm getting up so early and travelling 90 minutes across the city to secure a demoralising temporary job. It's all so I can get a flat of my own and invite my new friends over. Friends who'll no doubt be appalled by my terrible taste in tea.

What you see here is the coffee addict's equivalent of a cigarette rolled in newsprint. Who needs coffee filters when you have paper towel? Don't judge me. I've only done it three or four or five or six times.


UnBob said...

"Binge Guzzle" would make a great band name.

You need to admit that you're powerless over caffeine, and give yourself over to a higher power. With cream and Splenda.

Kate Savage said...

Unbob - I do. I do admit it. I'm giving myself over right now.

I just have to mention, though, that it eludes me how ANYTHING freeze-dried has become a household norm.

Photocider said...

The purpose of freeze dried is to give to the following:

1.) Builders.
2.) Electricians.
3.) Plumbers.

Or any other charlatan that you have to painfully hand over vast sums of money to simply because they're working class and I'm laden with middle class guilt...and they have a trade which is actually useful.
Thats why you have freeze dried - they screw you out of £380 for replacing a fuse, you screw them out of any real caffeine

wyliekat said...

I know this feeling. When I was visiting there, it was maddening to be unable to find coffee when I so desperately needed it.

However, my friend did fix me a cup of "proper builder's tea" and it almost did the trick.

noelle said...

I can commiserate - having actual coffee in your hands, but nothing to make it in.

As a consistant tea drinker every morning (so I can function), I feel the same pain as when I am offered tea, but no milk and sugar!

Close, but not close enough.

Unbobbulous said...

It's when you go freeze-dried that you know you've hit bottom. Please. Seek help.