Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Monogamy, and dys-sex-ia

"I told him, 'If we're going to be monogamous, I think I want to get a DUI,'" confided my friend Cathy – a barely recovering commitmentphobe with her first serious boyfriend in years – "and he just stared back at me like an idiot and didn't say anything. Can you believe that?"

She sipped her pint and waited for a reaction – for me to express disgust, incredulity, and ultimately validate her annoyance with him – but I could believe it, and I, too, stared back at her like an idiot.

"Do you mean 'IUD'?" I ventured, remembering she's dyslexic and the words-and-letters section of her brain has a tendency to go rogue. "As in 'Intra-Uterine Device', the birth control method? Or, 'DUI', the acronym for 'Driving Under the Influence', the crime?"

"Oh my gawd," she said, already cackling.

"Basically," concluded our new friend, Rax, "you told your boyfriend that the thought of being in a monogamous relationship with him makes you want to drink yourself stupid and get behind the wheel of a car. How was he supposed to react?"

6 comments:

dejvicka said...

yay! it's the freudian slip of the day!

Kate Savage said...

Oh, I'm so tempted to share more of her slips. Wait here, I'll check with her and see if I can add more without jeopardizing the friendship...

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Ace C said...

Just passing through. Found you on GOB and just thought I would give you a read.

pistols at dawn said...

I feel much the same way about relationships, so I would have high-fived her. Because girls love being high-fived.

Kate Savage said...

Ace - Make yourself comfy. There's plenty of room here...

Pistols - DUI is what she means most of the time, but she's working on it, one painful word of affection and torturous PDA at a time.

HIGH-FIVE!

kirsten said...

She sipped her pint and waited for a reaction – for me to express disgust, incredulity, and ultimately validate her annoyance with him – but I could believe it, and I, too, stared back at her like an idiot.

"Do you mean 'IUD'?" I ventured...


Genius!!