Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Morrissey

"If Morrissey doesn't throw a tantrum at least once tonight," I said again on the way to the Royal Albert Hall in London, "I'll be disappointed."

I meant it, too. He's notoriously temperamental and shit-fits are at least half his allure. A Morrissey gig without incident is like Mexico without machismo; like the Sixties without psilocybin; like Disney without dead mothers. And I wanted the full post-Smiths experience. If all went well, he'd be insulting me along with his thousands of adoring, pissed off fans. It was going to be sweet, and I was going to write home about it.

But I said it one too many times, and if manifest destiny played any part, I'm entirely to blame for what happened.

Always one to disappoint, Morrissey indeed threw his shit-fit, but long before we got there. He cancelled due to a "mysterious illness".

Mysterious = mental.

That's me outside the Royal Albert Hall in South Kensington, London, just moments after realising I got what I'd wished for.

5 comments:

Sam Manley said...

I've being trying to tell your boyfriend for years that not only does the twat whine through all his music but he's alos a giant twat. Cancelling a gig like a twat? You were right to expect it.

bookyeti said...

Sorry to hear you missed the Moz. It's on my 'to-do' list to see him live one o' these days.

-Bev

Paul Baines said...

Ah well I'm sure he'll do the rounds again soon - that's the problem with living legends - they have a lot to live up to which invariably means they go a little mental from time to time. That's why he still needs good old down-to-earth Marr to keep his feet on the ground ;p

LizzieB said...

Hi, there

I found your blog inadvertently: I googled Montreal+ teen+bloggers (en fran├žais) because I needed some teen-speak terms for a translation, and I suppose the blog and Montreal combination led me to your site. It's great fun to read you. I admire how you get along in Europe (well, the UK) without, apparently, too much trouble. Always wished I had been that way: carefree, self-assertive, non-depressive when I was in Europe. Instead, I had to drag my ass out of bed every morning and try real hard not to drink bad beer at 2 pm. Oh well, another life maybe. teehee

Kate Savage said...

Sam - Morrissey disproves the old adage, "Nobody likes a whiner."

Seems they do. And they like him enough to give him money to do it.

bookyeti - I can only hope for you that he throws his tantrum ON stage.

Though, if it's true that "only the good die young", Morrissey'll be around long enough for our great-grandchildren to see.

Paul Baines - Strange maybe, but I already feel like I've gotten the 'Morrissey experience'. I'll watch the rest of his tantrums on YouTube.

LizzieB - That's likely the least strange way anyone's found my blog. My stats show that a lot of people land here looking for "naked + backyard + mother + pee".

Anyway, I'm glad I am coming across as positive about my UK adventure. But that means you must've missed the previous entry about me actually considering crawling into a donations dumpster to hide from said experience.

And I do drink bad beer at 2 PM.