Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Morrissey
"If Morrissey doesn't throw a tantrum at least once tonight," I said again on the way to the Royal Albert Hall in London, "I'll be disappointed."
I meant it, too. He's notoriously temperamental and shit-fits are at least half his allure. A Morrissey gig without incident is like Mexico without machismo; like the Sixties without psilocybin; like Disney without dead mothers. And I wanted the full post-Smiths experience. If all went well, he'd be insulting me along with his thousands of adoring, pissed off fans. It was going to be sweet, and I was going to write home about it.
But I said it one too many times, and if manifest destiny played any part, I'm entirely to blame for what happened.
Always one to disappoint, Morrissey indeed threw his shit-fit, but long before we got there. He cancelled due to a "mysterious illness".
Mysterious = mental.
That's me outside the Royal Albert Hall in South Kensington, London, just moments after realising I got what I'd wished for.