Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Morrissey

"If Morrissey doesn't throw a tantrum at least once tonight," I said again on the way to the Royal Albert Hall in London, "I'll be disappointed."

I meant it, too. He's notoriously temperamental and shit-fits are at least half his allure. A Morrissey gig without incident is like Mexico without machismo; like the Sixties without psilocybin; like Disney without dead mothers. And I wanted the full post-Smiths experience. If all went well, he'd be insulting me along with his thousands of adoring, pissed off fans. It was going to be sweet, and I was going to write home about it.

But I said it one too many times, and if manifest destiny played any part, I'm entirely to blame for what happened.

Always one to disappoint, Morrissey indeed threw his shit-fit, but long before we got there. He cancelled due to a "mysterious illness".

Mysterious = mental.

That's me outside the Royal Albert Hall in South Kensington, London, just moments after realising I got what I'd wished for.


Sam Manley said...

I've being trying to tell your boyfriend for years that not only does the twat whine through all his music but he's alos a giant twat. Cancelling a gig like a twat? You were right to expect it.

bookyeti said...

Sorry to hear you missed the Moz. It's on my 'to-do' list to see him live one o' these days.


Paul Baines said...

Ah well I'm sure he'll do the rounds again soon - that's the problem with living legends - they have a lot to live up to which invariably means they go a little mental from time to time. That's why he still needs good old down-to-earth Marr to keep his feet on the ground ;p

LizzieB said...

Hi, there

I found your blog inadvertently: I googled Montreal+ teen+bloggers (en fran├žais) because I needed some teen-speak terms for a translation, and I suppose the blog and Montreal combination led me to your site. It's great fun to read you. I admire how you get along in Europe (well, the UK) without, apparently, too much trouble. Always wished I had been that way: carefree, self-assertive, non-depressive when I was in Europe. Instead, I had to drag my ass out of bed every morning and try real hard not to drink bad beer at 2 pm. Oh well, another life maybe. teehee

Kate Savage said...

Sam - Morrissey disproves the old adage, "Nobody likes a whiner."

Seems they do. And they like him enough to give him money to do it.

bookyeti - I can only hope for you that he throws his tantrum ON stage.

Though, if it's true that "only the good die young", Morrissey'll be around long enough for our great-grandchildren to see.

Paul Baines - Strange maybe, but I already feel like I've gotten the 'Morrissey experience'. I'll watch the rest of his tantrums on YouTube.

LizzieB - That's likely the least strange way anyone's found my blog. My stats show that a lot of people land here looking for "naked + backyard + mother + pee".

Anyway, I'm glad I am coming across as positive about my UK adventure. But that means you must've missed the previous entry about me actually considering crawling into a donations dumpster to hide from said experience.

And I do drink bad beer at 2 PM.