Saturday, February 28, 2009

Foe thah rek-ard, I'm faking it

Screaming my order over the bar last night for the fourth time, I came to a realisation. The fifth time, I made a decision: I'm going to be nicer to Madonna from now on.

She had no choice but to fake an accent and join the ranks of Dick van Dyke when she moved to the United Kingdom. I'm going to be easier on myself about it, too, because the English resolve even managed to break Madonna, and she eats puppies for tea.

It's not that I'm trying to fit in (I am), or that I'm tired of being teased (maybe a little), but sometimes it's just nice to be understood. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You think I'm already making excuses for myself. And you would be correct.

Anyway, last night when the bartender delivered me a glass of white wine, and not a bottle with three glasses as I'd requested, I knew what I had to do. Leaning over the bar, I went Madonna on his British sensibilities, "A baw-ehl of whyte whyne with tha-ray glas-siz, plays."

I'd rather get what I want than not.

8 comments:

ling-ling san said...

WAW-ter.
Buh-NAH-nah.
MOO-shi-Peaz.

Kate Savage said...

Mushy peas?

i am playing outside said...

already abandoning your home and native land. tsk. tsk.

tsk.

wyliekat said...

See, now go figure how that works. When I was there for a two week visit, I had more people ask me for directions than I ever have in my home city. Do I have the face of trust?

Also, found that London was such an international city that Brit accents were the exception, not the rule.

That coulda been perception, though.

I'm Kate... said...

I love it! I think of the British accent in the same way as the southern US accent (of which I'm still not used to...) only the Brit accent is much more fun. I would feature a new "southern" word (either word, or existing-word-but-with-new-pronunciation) on my blog everyday if I knew I wouldn't offend my readers, which are probably 80% southern. haha! Words like "sunday-go-to-meetin's" or "used to could" (which is used a lot more than one would assume), and "goo-wood" (for "good"). :) But I find myself HERE having to drag in the "drawl" in order to get what I need ("can I have a chyeeezbuhguh, plaeeeyz?"), otherwise, I might as well be from Britain. :) have fun!!

Ace C said...

Way to adapt!

Kate Savage said...

When in Rome...drink wine.

pistols at dawn said...

I'd just say, "Look, tosser - you can either give me what I want or I'll put on the worst British accent you've ever heard, and no one wants that."