Saturday, August 02, 2008

The real thing

I've finally found what I've been not-so-secretly looking for all my life. It's the sort of thing that either is, or isn't. That you find or you don't. And now, I have it. I really might be the luckiest girl in the world.

On quite a few occasions, I've thought I'd found it – stomach-flipping sure I'd found one – only to look a little closer and see that one part was missing, one essential bit, the kind that changes everything. That's the difference between magic and the ordinary.

Very early on, I've been faked out by a few sneaky tricksters and opportunists, but they couldn't hold it together for long and always revealed themselves as the grade school con artists they were. I've fallen for their trickery, I'll admit that, but only because my hopes were high and my primary character flaw is that I'm willing to forego most things for excitement and adventure. I could probably still be fooled into believing you had one for me, too, but only because my primary good fortune is that, despite my high hopes, enough has gone right for me that I'm not entirely jaded – but dishonesty is no foundation for luck OR love, and tricksters' names I don't recall.

In the park yesterday, lazing in the grass with some best girlfriends, I realized I'd really found one, and the moment was cathartic for more than just me. "I stopped believing they really existed," said my friend, Cathy (a catch who couldn't be caught, not until recently, and she's barely admitted she's fallen for a certain worthy and talented rising Canadian artist), "...but you finally effing found one."

"I know," I said, smiling [insert adjective for a huge grin, overwhelming sense of fulfillment and renewed hope for the world]-ly. "Yet, there it is."

It happened exactly how I'd heard it happens, where and when I least expected, and right in front of my face.

5 comments:

ling-ling san said...

Heehee. That's great.
You really deserve to find one, you know!
:)

Bob Stein said...

And he's in your same city! And he's totally available! And he loves nature! And ... whoops you killed him.

Anonymous said...

you ARE the luckiest girl in the world!

Beth said...

Ling Ling - Are you just sucking up because you're moving back to Canada? Either way, I'm stoked! Move back!

Bob - That's why it's safer for me to date foreigners.

Carmen - I'll just pretend I am, and we'll see where that gets me. Into trouble, no doubt. And I do like trouble.

Anonymous said...

and i like that you like trouble. it makes for interesting reading!