Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Fortune echoes in the void

Of hundreds of meals enjoyed in my Park Avenue apartment, chow mein was my last. It was my $6 reward for having dragged, rolled and huffed another 60 pounds of my former life – the one I had before I decided to relocate to the UK – eight blocks to the donation bin at the local mission. I suppose I could've just used that $6 for a taxi, but then I wouldn't have gotten a fortune cookie out of it.

In the sole remaining chair in my apartment, I sat before the now empty Chinese takeaway carton, with a few more ibuprofren-enabled hours of lugging boxes ahead of me.

Tearing open the fortune cookie's clear plastic wrapper, I thought three things:

1) They don't even have these in China.
2) I hope this cookie isn't stale like the last one.
3) This fortune better say something good.

It read, "You will soon travel abroad."

Drawing a slow breath, I scanned the nearly empty space that was once my home. Assessing the final precarious tower of awkwardly packed boxes awaiting transportation, I couldn't help but feel that the cosmos hadn't been paying attention to my life plans at all. Incredulous, I responded as any exhausted Canadian might, after spending more than a grand and weeks of preparation to move overseas:

"Noooooo shit!" I yelled.

"No shit," my four walls echoed back. "Nooooo shhhhhhit."

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh. i love your life!!

Beth said...

Carmen - Wow, thanks! Maybe you can remind me of that when some of the going gets tough. :)

paperback reader said...

Appropo of nothing beyond me having terrible taste in movies, your above "going gets rough" comment makes me think of the Say Anything moment:

Diane: No one thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd: No. You just described every great success story.

Failing big is still better than a lifetime spent succeeding in small ways. That's just - again quoting someone wiser - measuring out your life with coffee spoons.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck on your move!

Anonymous said...

Hey, fortune cookies are not above stating the obvious. ;-}

Anonymous said...

Classic! That your walls would echo, "No Shit!" Great story telling and good luck with your move.

- said...

see, you have taken this negatively. however, i would have quite enjoyed this. its an affirmation of your new life. enjoy it!

Beth said...

Pistols - If life is gonna remind me of TV and movies, I just hope they're ALL rom-com!

Raven - Thanks! I appreciate all I can get! I might even resort to summoning that weird "Lightworker" guy who commented on my 11:11 post. Can't hurt. Can it?

Wyliekat - This one is taped to my laptop currently, and the one about financial rewards...that's gotta be around here somewhere...

Adrienne - Thank YOU! And welcome here! I loved that my walls talked back to me on THIS, but i just hope they keep quiet about everything ELSE I did in there.

I am playing outside - Hey man, my walls were mouthier than I was. Talk to THEM.

I'm Kate... said...

Hey, at least the fortune cookie wasn't empty, or have a blank piece of paper. That happened to me simulatneously, and, getting the picture, I haven't opened one since! If I was getting ones like yours, I'd be ALL ABOUT IT! Have fun! :)

Beth said...

Kate - Oh, no way! That's hilarious! Maybe a blank fortune works in the same way as a blank Scrabble tile. Still, seeing it as you did, well, that makes the better story. :)

Unknown said...

no SHIT!

Beth said...

NO shit!

Unknown said...

So where are you traveling too?

Beth said...

Well, by the end of February, the United Kingdom. Woot!

Anonymous said...

i'm happy for you lady.
safe travels x

Beth said...

Thanks! I'm not gone yet, though! Not until the end of February...