"Is that for measuring my dick?" He aimed a dirty sausage-finger at the measuring tape on my costume. "Yeah, cuz it might not be long enough, harrrrrgh," his wing-man piped in, while the rest of their torso-heavy buddies formed a semi-circle around us and guffawed, as was expected. They kept piping it in, too, spewing as much crap as spittle, potty-mouthing to the max. Such is the norm after last call in the party-heart of the city, when you're a group of women dressed as Supervillains.
We didn't look particularly sexy, hilarity was our goal, but that didn't matter. We have heads and legs, and at 3:30 a.m. on The Main in Montreal, that's all anyone's really looking for in a woman. For this particular group of drunken frat-boys, encountering humans possessing both vaginas and costumes, in addition to heads and legs, was proving to be a little too much to handle. Likewise, encountering slobbery frat-boys shouting about each other's penises was a little too awkwardly homoerotic for me. Keep it in the locker room, I say. Tired, and at the end our night, we were in no mood to facilitate this verbal circle-jerk.Still wearing our capes, we decided to cut our losses and make a run for it, succeeding in little else than calling more attention to ourselves. The catcalls didn't bother us, except that everyone assumed we were all variations of Wonder Woman, as though we're that uncreative. No, together we were the League of Misunderestimated Supervillains - the female contingent comprised of: The Bad Joker, powered by pun and with the frightening ability to kill any conversation, Feral Cat and her eye-averting sidekick Camel Toe, The Personal-Space Invader (me, equipped with the "invadable" space-measuring tape that caught the frat-boy's attention), and most tasteless of all, The Golden Showerer.
While, as a member of the ridiculous League of Misunderestimated Supervillains, it would have been nice to defeat the frat-boys, we were no match for their vulgar, drunken machismo. Especially not me, The Personal-Space Invader, because when it comes to guys like that, I'd really rather keep my distance.
11 comments:
Hmmm, well, maybe the frat boys thought the "BJ" on the back of the "Bad Joker" stood for something else, which would account for their interest in your tape measure's function.
That's an explanation I'd accept had both the "B" and "J" fallen off before we left home. Probably, considering what happened, a blessing.
Still, while they lasted, her cape was the most unfortunately initialed by far. By very, very far.
Men are such pigs: foul, smelly, and prone to squealing when disturbed.
Frat boys, however, are the trichina worm deep inside the muscle tissue of the pigs.
Looking at the black and white photo, I just hope you didn't all put a gaping hole in the ceiling after taking off.
I've been reading your stuff and I must say I think it's very very cool. You write beautifully - I actually enjoy reading it, which is much more than I can say for most of the stuff I come across.
PS - thanks for stopping by, and glad you enjoy the cartoons!
See, if I had a chance to go to bars dressed inappropriately for picking up, I'd probably go more often.
I like this entire plan, but it smacks of effort, and I would have known enough not to try and pick up any woman who puts forth effort, because she'll probably just expect the same, and who's got that kind of time?
You might call yourselves Supervillains but I call you my heroes. Other than that, I'm pleasantly speechless. :)
While this is a promising start at the first issue of your graphic novel — and I believe Kevin Smith would be impressed — much work remains. There was a disappointing lack of thwacked frats. And a dissatisfying build-up toward meeting four handsome, pun-savvy men, with whom the heroines would briefly flirt, then reduce to pants-peeing foeatal balls of hysterics with their slogans, then step across and out into the night, on to new adventures and paid subscriptions.
Yay!
You guys were crazy great.
All y'all really MADE the party
what it was. I only wish now that
we had set up a photobooth so
we could have taken PowerShots
of some sort.
So basically what's happening is this: With so much positive feedback, I'll be dressing up more. Maybe that's what I'll do today. Wait. This toes the crazy-line.
News - The League of Misunderestimated Supervillians is turning highly (though poorly) choreographed stage-act next, for an amateur revue. It was THAT much fun.
Now my responses to you:
Mr. Diggs, of the Brent sort - And some pigs are princesses!! (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2105763/Meet-Cinderella,-Pig-in-Boots.html
Mike - Indeed we "raised the roof". And, "Ahhhhh" (that's the sound of satisfaction). Thank you. Encouragement, whether for writing or costuming is always very much appreciated.
Wyliekat - Hellz yeah. Any reason to dress up, really (like an idiot,that is), and that's all the motivation I ever need. Come out sometime. A fake, failed bridal party's next.
Pistols - Effort? A little. We only succeeded into heckling one boyfriend into submission/participation.
GorillaSushi - Villains are your heroes? I'm reporting you to Homeland Security. :P (thanks, btw)
Bob - So there is money in supervillainry? Wait, OF COURSE there is. It's the good guys who always get screwed. Heh. Suckahhhs!
Well, got to get back to badness.
Cheers, and thanks for coming over all. Make yourself at home. Grab a 0.5% beer (can't let things get TOO rowdy, can I?).
x
Enter Sully, party superhero Mastress!
Can we do that next time? What do you think about having a failed wedding party? :)
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