When people tell me I'm crazy, it comes out in a sing-song tone. You know the one. I'm sure you've heard it from a few friends if you've ever met "someone special" on the internet, drunkenly applied the 5-second rule to pizza, or dated a girl with "DAN'S BEEF" tattooed on her ass.
It's how friends react when they're pretty sure you're screwing up, but glad you're taking one for the team. If not for the shit you pull, they'd be stuck talking about the weather and, oh I dunno, something important. Your friends might worry about you, but they also can't wait to tattle. It takes the focus off them, for the last time they effed up.
So what if you threw up that "perfectly good" ham sandwich, or if you missed your plane despite having "plenty of time" to get to the airport? Sure you woke up on a beach in Southeast Asia stripped of your trainers, passport and pride, but "that chick was really hot." I'm sure most of the time you're trouble-free, but no one remembers when things are just alright. That's why extreme sports and alcohol exist.Oh, and working visas for the UK.
My friend Christina thinks I'm insane for moving to London. "It's damp and expensive," she says, far more crudely than that. She lives in Mexico where it's sunny year-round, and she's paying $50/month for rent (which she earns making jewellery). She gets water from a hose in the yard and her home is made of cement and sticks. See, she's actually crazy. She's also hilarious and happy. Maybe I'm nuts to sell all my shit and move to England, with nothing but a few good friends, a laptop and a working visa to my name. But I'd be more crazy not to.
I'm not so different from Christina. Our happy places are just really, really far apart.
(Meet Christina and her husband, Luis. Mel Gibson tried to recruit him for Apocalypto, but Luis didn't want to cut his hair. They used to live in a little hut on the beach in Mahahual, but then a hurricane ate it.)
10 comments:
I'm with you on that one. I would rather move to London any day of the week. Mexico not so much. Follow the dream.
I don't think you're crazy, for what it's worth. I'm going to forever be the rapid proponent of radical moves by others - I never did muster up the nuts to do it myself, and I won't get another chance until I'm old. So I cheer others on.
London? Doesn't everybody smoke there? Or wait, is that France? Oh, I know - it's always foggy there. Yes, foggy and you have to say things like "Cheerio!" even when you're not actually talking about your sheer excitement over cereal.
I'm cultured.
Ace C - Mmmmmmexico. I might buck up for real walls and a locking door, but I could live there, too.
Wyliekat - In your honour, I'm going to call someone Musternuts today.
surviving myself - It's the land where "pants" aren't the same thing as trousers. And if you get 'em dirty, you really shouldn't be telling people.
so are you actually IN london yet?
Rainy, expensive, crowded, dirty, really expensive, really rainy and increasingly fragmented. However its full of us English and we simply rock. We don't say cheerio, we do say loo (bathroom), willy (penis), pavement (sidewalk) and so on and so on.
When you cum you will enjoy it and London immensley.
Please let me know how the intended target enjoyed being Musternuts. . .
Don't believe Sam, they definitely say "cheerio." I saw it in a Hugh Grant movie, I think.
I do however, agree with his last sentence, though I think "when you cum you will enjoy it immensely" regardless of where you are.
i am playing outside - Oh, not yet. As soon as I find a buyer for this kidney, I'm hopping on the plane.
Sam - You English also wear your "pants" on the outside, and work the subject of sex into everything. And I hear you when you say it's really expensive over there. Speaking of which, how much do you usually budget for it?
wyliekat - As it turns out, when said out loud to THAT guy, "musternuts" sounds very much like "musty-nuts", which causes all those within earshot to wonder how I know.
surviving myself - Well if you and Hugh Grant say so, you've got me convinced. Get Johnny Depp on your side and you can convince me of pretty much anything.
To Sam's credit, my boyfriend DOES live in England.
I live in Mexico - it has its moments. I was thinking about moving to London because culturally the Brits and I share a sense of humor whereas here people don't think I'm nearly as funny as I am. I thought maybe I could find a nice English guy and then drag him back to the tropics with me.
Do they do mail order over there??
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